Queen's Quarters Pillows

'Ah... you'll be wanting the King si...er...Queen size.'

The Three Wise Queens

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Queen of Quinoa

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

The Bearskin Hat Family

The Royal Wii

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'He has some unresolved issues.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

Elizabeth I

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

God Save the Queen - Standing Room Only