Quaver Quipster T-Shirts

The Staff Meeting.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Musical Web

'Is the water cold?'

Plant Parenthood...

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

Musical Note Nail

Official Seal

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

"You've got termites."

The Quantum Mechanic...

'What I meant by 'quark' in 'Finnegans Wake' was a hypothetical particle with a fractional electric charge.

Death Watch

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

The refinancing didn't come through -- I say we just walk away from the project.

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

'Actually I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.'

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"We've agreed to count it as both a wave and a particle for tax purposes."

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

"Schrödinger's other cat"

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

"I'll have an entendre...make it a double."

Physicists' Convention: Quantum Leap.

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."