Quarterback Critic Pillows

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"Right-ho, Jeeves!"

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

Footballer playing for time

'Look at this mess! Egg everywhere! You're benched, Collins. I have no use for a quarterback who can't scramble.'

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

Sports Bar. Do you even do any fantasy sports? Only when I'm making a bet on my favorite team.

'Remember young brave to always face evil without fear...To have our tribe on foam and underwear!'

'I'm working on the report for the third quarter as we speak.'

It's tough being a quarterback in a new year's eve game. All the receivers want to drop the ball.

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

We've had two weeks between the conference finals and the big game. With time for injuries to heal, we're physically ready for a peak performance. We watched hour after hour of video. Then spent long days on the practice field so we'll function as a team and not a collection of individuals. And once we finally finish preparing for the touchdown celebrations, we might have an or two to practice football.

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

'The only thing I can figure is that a game took place without a single fan criticizing the officials.'

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

Bears Win!!!

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

"You know, I never really thought to ask - I just assumed he knows they can't hear him."

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'