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'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

Footballer playing for time

"Right-ho, Jeeves!"

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

'Look at this mess! Egg everywhere! You're benched, Collins. I have no use for a quarterback who can't scramble.'

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

'I'm working on the report for the third quarter as we speak.'

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

'The only thing I can figure is that a game took place without a single fan criticizing the officials.'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

"You know, I never really thought to ask - I just assumed he knows they can't hear him."

"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'