Quantum Gourmand Gifts

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'Are you ready for dessert?'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'I don't mind if I spill vegetables, but I hate it when I spill dessert.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

Dijon Vu

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

Capturing a Cook

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.