Quaint Collectors Gifts

Swan in a trenchcoat.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Toadstools

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Piranhaclaus

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Early cyborg.

The original paperless office

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Early Colour TV

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.