Quack Remedy Skeptic Pillows

"Melania honey...can you fetch the bleach..."

"You don't need a duck call. I can just download this Find-a-Fowl app."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'This duck call works too well.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"Trepanning for gold"

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

"With the wearing of this mystic talisman, you will never be plagued by any of the minor ailments usually handled by over-the-counter drugs!"

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

New Age Anatomy...

"What we really need is a long term quick fix."

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"Mr. Dinsdale - come back!"

Acupuncture darts.

Vlad, The Acupuncturist.

"I curse the day I ever heard of Ginkgo Biloba."

'Hang on! A good looking she-duck alone on lake doesn't seem right to me: It must be a decoy...'

New Age Auto Repair

New-Age junk diet.