Quack Remedy Humorist Pillows

"Let's see what your chart says. The patient needs...chamomile tea...a delivery from Concha's Herbal Shop...and 10 gallons of holy water?"

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Inflatable Duck Boat

'This duck call works too well.'

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

Dummies for Dummies.

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

"Trepanning for gold"

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

If you're still not suffering fools gladly in two weeks, we'll up the dosage.

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Rocks The Vote

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

"I asked You, in the nicest possible way, to make me a better person, but apparently You couldn't be bothered."

'If you experience pain and discomfort in removing the cap... double the dosage.'

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

'Since taking Prozac I only chase parked cars'

"According to medical science, brandy can't cure the common cold!" "Neither can medical science!"

New-Age junk diet.

"I don't doubt that there's a totally awesome DIY life hack for this, but right now, why don't we just go with a #7 scalpel?"

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'