Pyramid Scheme Ponderer Pillows

"A fantastic evangelist was on TV, and I sent him everything."

Tourists

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Here's the parking lot."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Schrödinger and his cat

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Pyramid catflap...

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"You can't lose pal. For a small fee, you make huge commissions every time you sell those babies."

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Sphinx with nursing Sphinx pups

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.