Puzzled Perfectionist Gifts

Sea of rubbish.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

Perfection

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

Santa's Out Tray.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"You're welcome."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."