Putting Green Navigators Pillows

'I realize this is a tough green, but to have 68 putts is beyond belief.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

"Honey! We're home!"

"Mush on."

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

Books 'n' Carrots

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

Let's start a book group to read stuff that will help us cope with our lives. Like? You know: Self-help books on housekeeping, child-rearing and navigating difficult workplace situations. Suggestions? Yeah. Jane Eyre, Gone with the Wind and The Devil Wears Prada. The great books series.

"And would you like to continue paying no taxes at the 15, 10 or 20% rate?"

'Sweet dreams Darling: Have a good day...'

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

Tourists and GPS

'According to the map, we're about to sail off the end of the earth.'

'It's 700 pages. I just don't think I'm ready for that type of commitment.'

Man cutting grass.

"Land ahoy!"

"Relax! That first crack is just me getting past your deductible."

'I'm sure the people who live around here will know where we are.'

'This is too complicated. I think I'll just hold on to my waste and hope it eventually disintegrates.'

The Wooden Midshipman on the lookout

“So much for Google Maps.”

'Ok, this is far enough into the wilderness. My phone just died.'

"By the way, if I don't make it I'd like a burial at sea."

'While we realize it's difficult having a sick child at home, Mrs. Mote, we believe you sent Philip back a little soon.'

'No wonder I'm failing Math. I'm just no good with numbers. Even when I called the math homework helpline, I got the wrong number.'

Continue to follow the yellow brick road

"...Get it off me!"

Man answers phone in middle of the night annoying his wife.

November: "It's only 4:15, but it's pitch dark!"

Samuel Schneckenreiter: Born 1939, Published 1959,1961, 1965,1972. . . Perished 2013.

'It says, 'Warning, reading this brochure may damage your health.''