Purrsonal God Believer Gifts

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set wh

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

'Perhaps the surest evidence intelligent life exists out there is the fact it hasn't revealed itself to us thus far.'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

Pyramid UFO...

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

I defend to the death your right to say things I agree with.

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

'...Water on Mars'

'I have this strange feeling I'm going to discover something about psychic abilities. . . next week.'

'A white cat! That's good luck.' 'It doesn't work that way.'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

"Aw, geeze. Forty nine years of bad luck."

'I might also mention, that hiring me would be a fulfillment of prophecy.'

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

'Breaking news, this morning the Ravens flew away from the Tower of London...'

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

"The aliens that control my brain really want me to get this job."

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."

"I wanna thank everyone who believed in me!"

Everyone treads on the cracks sometimes, Arnold...

'Don't think I'm talking shop, but is there anything on the other side?'

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I'm here to share a brief Bible message with you about the good news of God's Kingdom."

"You're definitely descended from the apes. I'm descended from Adam and Eve."

"You said it out loud! Now it won't come true!"