Purring Connoisseur Pillows

'Relax - TV brings you a commercial - free hour of a purring kitten...

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"It's a play on words."

Theatre Crowd

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

Crazy old clown cat lady.

Clown's In and Out Trays.

Sculptor's chippings

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

A Semicolon.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Clown Watercooler

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

Pizza and Related Searches.

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Looks like this is the only contest Fluffy has a chance of winning today!

"Keep back... I'm going to try reviving him with my hand buzzer!"

'My client should get a shorter sentence since he did use 'Lol'.'

St. Patrick's Day

Blue wine

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Sometimes I think I spoil you Tiddles!'

'Oh, the irony! Just guess who gave me the welfare check I bought this sign with!'