Purchasing Manager Pillows

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

How Many It Takes

'A word in your ear about the 'value for money' fleet cars you ordered...'

'This one says, order more sticky notes.'

"I take it you made a sale?"

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

Supplier Competition

Chief Buyer - I'm busy dump your card with the others

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

'You're Jenny from accounting, right? I'm Brad from purchasing. How about a little merger?'

"Does he respond better to a confident approach or a groveling approach?"

"Are you sure this is how procurement challenges are resolved?"

"We are thinking about what we need. Concentrate on our thoughts and prepare all the procurement documentation..."

'Well here's the problem. Part # AB5 is a bomb. Part # AB6 is a toner cartridge.'

"Aren't you the old guy in purchasing whose decades of slavish devotion inspired us to replace you with a small army of sycophants?"

Purchasing and Sales

"Of course you don't need to tell me about your procurement plans for the year ahead. That would spoil the surprise and give us time to deliver value for money and who needs that?!"

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

Made in China

Economy

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Supply Chain

Blowing dust off an order book.

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Low Hanging Fruit

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.