Puppy Spa Fans T-Shirts

'...and we offer a complete range of amenities, including, 24 room service, concierge staff and complimentary belly rubs.'

Romantic Giraffes

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Boy weighs puppy: 'Ten... that's 70 in people-pounds, Sparky.'

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

Yoga for dogs

Dachshund Yoga

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

Apple Kiss

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

Dogs at the vets - "What exactly does 'being seen to' mean?"

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

'My new bed has an orthopedic mattress, a built in water dish, and a privacy curtain, If only it was up on the people bed,,,it would be perfect,'

'Complaints desk - Look, I've found this puppy in my toilet roll.'

"I've been down here 50 years, but you'd never know it. Staying out of the sun has kept my skin fresh, firm and wrinkle-free."

Beware of cool cat.

'It's humiliating - nobody else in this street takes their budgie walkies!'

'I knew it Cynthia! That danged bird breeder pulled a fast one on us.'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'He's been unbearable since he won the lottery.'

"I think Snowy has fleas."

"Boy is she mad at me! I licked her face, so she's gone back inside to apply her make-up: she has a job interview this morning..."

"Keep your nose out of my business!"

"You're hired! Your remuneration package includes a tennis ball, a stick and a tummy rub every second Friday."

"That's a relatively severe case of worms."