Puppy Punisher Pillows

'Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!!'

"Worms."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Don't even think about it."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Dog Walker

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'I'm sorry about the slippers...but I do need the roghage.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"He wants a second opinion."

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"