Puppy Prophet Pillows

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

The Speculators

'To woof or not to woof...'

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

"These printers can be pretty self-righteous when they present their bills."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

A self-filling prophecy.

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

"The end of the world is nigh."

"I never really needed obedience school, … It was more of an obedience seminar."

Discipline at Doggy School

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."