Puppy Prophet Pillows

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'To woof or not to woof...'

The Speculators

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"These printers can be pretty self-righteous when they present their bills."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Vikings to the Super bowl.

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

Humble beginnings of the International House of Pancakes

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

A self-filling prophecy.

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

"The end of the world is nigh."

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"I never really needed obedience school, … It was more of an obedience seminar."

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'