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'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I was almost that last year."

Dogs

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

Christmas Pets

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

'You're having antoher doggie treat party, right?'

Too cute for comfort.

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

"Oh, wow! Charlie is really hungry, huh, mom?"

'Halloween. Why should cats have all the fun?'

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

"I borrowed it from my neighbor, he's a big tennis guy."

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

It's time to treat your dog to Le Bon Chien.

Baby buying shares

"They know me here."

'I take it your romantic dinner isn't going well. . .'

"When the time is right I intend to lead a canine revolution that will bring about a new world order. Until then I'm just hanging around acting cute."

"Ambitions... To get birthday treats every dog year, not every seven."

"I don't recognize the face. Mind if I sniff you?"

What the hell do they mean, that's a hundred and twelve to you and me.

'Outside, they let me off the leash only to fetch the paper. It's sort of a work-release program.'