Puppy Panic Survivor Pillows

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Oh, stop hyperventilating! You went on vacation to relax, remember?"

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'My dog is terrified of strangers. would you be a dear and wear this outfit while you're working here?'

'I think it's passed its sell-by date.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

He Did It!

Cookie Thief

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

"Stop coding the dog, Fred! He should have to bury his bones himself!"

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"How's tricks?"

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

Hang Time Fido

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

"You destination is around the next curve."

"Yes, I'm talking to you. I believe you're the only Sparky in the house."

'It's only a checkup!'

Bad Dog!