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Phantom of the Punch and Judy Show

"This is the way to f**cking do it."

A Puppet Named Juan

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Leslie Caron.

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

'He does.'

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"I don't know, do you think we evolved from the sock monkey?"

Ventriloquist Grave

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Just reading the minutes back will be sufficient.'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

And now, for a rebuttal.

"I've called you here to discuss some issues because this big sissy didn't have the guts."

'And to think I was worried it'd be lonely at the top!'

'I know, but he's a genius.'

'Are you hiding something from me? Is there someone else?'

"She said don't forget the straw."

"I feel like we're finally making progress."

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

Sorry, I'm already spoken for.