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Phantom of the Punch and Judy Show

"This is the way to f**cking do it."

A Puppet Named Juan

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'He does.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Ventriloquist Grave

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"I don't know, do you think we evolved from the sock monkey?"

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Just reading the minutes back will be sufficient.'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

"I've called you here to discuss some issues because this big sissy didn't have the guts."

'Are you hiding something from me? Is there someone else?'

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"She said don't forget the straw."

'You ought to get out more according to experts.'

"I feel like we're finally making progress."

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'