Puppet Humor Gifts

"I'm not either a control freak!"

A Puppet Named Juan

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"It get it – you're hungry."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'He does.'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

Cats at private view

Dogs life

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'