Puppet Haters T-Shirts

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

A Puppet Named Juan

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'He does.'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"I don't know, do you think we evolved from the sock monkey?"

Ventriloquist Grave

'Just reading the minutes back will be sufficient.'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

"I've called you here to discuss some issues because this big sissy didn't have the guts."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'Are you hiding something from me? Is there someone else?'

Pubertry

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"She said don't forget the straw."

Writer Puppet

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

'You ought to get out more according to experts.'

"I feel like we're finally making progress."

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'