Punster Appreciator Gifts

Fatherhood Hall of Fame

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Seagiraffes

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

First Novels.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cat Nip.

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

You're the puff in my pastry!

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Banana Split...

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''