Punk Money Managers Pillows

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Money exchange

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

The Contrarian funds

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

Me and my money are soon parted

Overdraft limit.

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

What is possible and what is probable.

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Piggy Bank ATM

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'