Punditry Appreciator Pillows

"I'll have you know that if you eat me, I'll go right to your hips."

Archival Warfare

"I'm the bad guy..."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

Final words on gravestones.

Pirate eye test

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'What's that funny smell?'

'Warren buffett invests only in things he understands...my view is that politicians should regulate only things they understand!'

"We pay the living dead wage."

Audacity of Hope.

Under What Circumstances Would You Change Your Mind?

Smile??? I'm pregnant.

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

My horse for a kingdom.

'Everybody gets to go fishing but me! Life just isn't fair!'

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

Everything Deep Fried. . . Food Shaming

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

'Look out for his low punches.'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"What's the matter? Not puffy enough for you?"

Frederick Robinson

"I just love your use of lying"

Always the smartest guy in the room.

Earl Grosvenor Criticises Liberal Reform Bill

"There wasn't enough money to leave a note to say there wasn't enough money."

Dear kindly Rudy Park reader, We can appreciate that you don't have a lot of energy to read and digest a comic strip. Doubtless you're still digesting mountains of food, and would like to continue your post-gorging nap. Forget that! I'm going to shop until I pass out from exhaustion. We stand corrected. In case I hurl, bring my airsick bag to the Apple Store.

"Seems like we're always the first to get the blame when crime rises."

Petition demanding Piers Morgan is deported from the US.

"A funny thing happened on my way over here..."

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten that dodgy fish."

Mary McCarthy.

'Gee, I wish I'd said that.'