Puncture Philosopher Pillows

"I've got a punture in the back wheel." "Just raise the saddle up."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

Power/Expenditures

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

Comedy Rule

'I think therefore I ham.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'Life'

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

'Tell the boss I'm leaving an hour early this afternoon, to make up for being an hour late this morning.'

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

Acupuncture Treatment Room. My acupuncturist used placebos on me today.

"I regret believing in reincarnation."

'I know 24 ways to kill a man - add another if I don't get a drink.'

Creation: The Snooker Theory

'I didn't feel answers were necessary. All the questions seemed rhetorical.'

'Do you like Indian food?' 'I have my reservations!'

Fish in gaol.

Fakir Repairs

"Sometimes I unwind too fast, and it makes me a little dizzy."

"Of course the second amendment stands, I just said no bullets."

"What does your father do for a living?"

'By a show of hands who knows the sound of one hand smelling?'

Bacall Centre

'Perk up. Just think of all that interest piling up at more than 5% per annum.'

Arrivals Board

'I'm afraid there's no tax deductibility for 'A life wasted in fruitless search for fulfillment through the acquisition of meaningless wealth'.'