Puncture Philosopher Pillows

"I've got a punture in the back wheel." "Just raise the saddle up."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

Power/Expenditures

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

Comedy Rule

'I think therefore I ham.'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'Life'

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

'Tell the boss I'm leaving an hour early this afternoon, to make up for being an hour late this morning.'

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

"I regret believing in reincarnation."

'I know 24 ways to kill a man - add another if I don't get a drink.'

Creation: The Snooker Theory

'I didn't feel answers were necessary. All the questions seemed rhetorical.'

'Do you like Indian food?' 'I have my reservations!'

Fish in gaol.

"Sometimes I unwind too fast, and it makes me a little dizzy."

Bacall Centre

"What does your father do for a living?"

Fakir Repairs

"Of course the second amendment stands, I just said no bullets."

'Perk up. Just think of all that interest piling up at more than 5% per annum.'

Arrivals Board

'I'm afraid there's no tax deductibility for 'A life wasted in fruitless search for fulfillment through the acquisition of meaningless wealth'.'

"Miss- my pencil's unleaded!"