Pint Philosopher Pillows

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

"Sometimes I unwind too fast, and it makes me a little dizzy."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Beer Stall

Beers

Best Before 5th Pint.

Happy thoughts

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

'Oi! '

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

'Time? Time's relative.'

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"

"You know all the best pubs for lunch, Seamus."

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

"Walden Pond is fine as long as Thoreau isn't there."

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

Darts team ordering their drinks using notes attached to darts.

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

'Well, how many pints do you weigh?'

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...oh, hell, give me another one!'

The Beer Whisperer

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

"A quick pint, Mavis, I'm running on empty!"