Pun Maestro Gifts

Detour Ahead. This really messes with him!

"Oh, just you wait till your patriarch gets home!"

'Nothing rhymes with politician!'

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"Do you like my new sandals? They're open-toad."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

I will study my speling words...

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Bed Spread"

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

Dogs life

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

"Dogs are men."

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

'Your Grounded!'

"Well yes, I'm kind of a farmer now: I farm salmon..."

"What can I say? I was an English major."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"Hey, Sisyphus, when you've got a minute I'd like to discuss this progress report with you."

Biology Laboratory: No Cellfies

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

Card shark

"He may be the principal, but he's a terrible speller."