Pudding Partisan Gifts

"I knew I didn't need the Death by Chocolate."

British savings accounts

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Cake Free Zone

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

"I'll have dessert first."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

Voice of the GOP

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"Quick conference...this is rhubarb pie...do we like it or not?"

I wonder who's Kissinger now?

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

"I feel that I've been given a unique opportunity to speak out on the issues."

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

Banana Split

A Born Politician

On - Undecided - Off switch