Puck Whisperer Pillows

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'OK. Let's see your slapshot.'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Husband bakes a pie

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"Thanks for this. But if you miss us, you can just purr."

Cat Burglar.

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Cleaning the Horse

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Maternity ward on the farm.

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"Have you thought about early retirement?"

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

'Pencil for Cartoonists.'

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

"Love you!"

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

'Looks like you're having a pretty good season, eh Ben?'

"Neither party seems to be talking about cats."