Puck Whisperer Pillows

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'OK. Let's see your slapshot.'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Husband bakes a pie

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

If that call's for me, I'm not here.

"Thanks for this. But if you miss us, you can just purr."

Cat Burglar.

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

Cleaning the Horse

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

"Have you thought about early retirement?"

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

Maternity ward on the farm.

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

You will fall in love with yet another cat.

'Pencil for Cartoonists.'

"Love you!"

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'