Publicity Prince Gifts

'We need a big publicity push, we have to get you in the news, one of you needs to develop a heavy drug problem.'

'How fast can you hype?'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

Welcome to Elmville "Home of the world's biggest pothole." The mayor sure knows how to make the best of a bad situation!

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

Man milks a book.

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

Media Whore Raceway.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I thought you and Mom didn't believe in spanking!'

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

'It doesn't matter if you win or lose: it's how much face time you can generate on the 6 o'clock news.'

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

"Your career needs a jumpstart. Rehab is pass?. How about 3 weeks in prison?"

'I'm writing a poem -- what rhymes with 'hegemony'?'

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

Frog man

'Might doesn't make right, Son, but it's the next best thing.'

Bought Low, Sold Lower.

Three cheers for advertising.

Prince

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!

'To receive an application form, you have to fill out this application form.'

'Please stop talking to the media, Doctor. It's my job to make any rash statements.'

"Congratulations! It's publicity..."

'We need a PR expert who can make heads or tails out of what I'm trying to say to the public.'

"Nigel's boss told him to get in the conference photos at all costs"