Public Transit Punter Gifts

"Ladies and gentlemen, there is an uptown train a hundred and two stations away."

Cake Free Zone

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dog Walker

Pet Cemetery.

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Planned service changes

SF NO

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

SF NO

Getting Closer

Licker Store

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Rodin's Tram Driver

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

"Hey, have you ever asked yourself why you need to cross the street before hurling yourself into traffic?"

'I thought I'd take the train to avoid the congestion charge.'

Saloon Selectives

Metro transit authorities ban pets. However Metro pets retaliate forcefully.

"Just so you know, if this elevator breaks down, I have no problem cannibalizing your body for my survival."

". . . But, according to your cat, you had a fur ball contract."

"I gave you the wheel and this is what you did with it?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm on a Citi Plow."

Communication on a bus

Lawyer Xing

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

"He's a shiitake."

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

'It's an app that tells me when metro will get its act together.'

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

"Why anyone should look forward to a subway series is beyond me."

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'