Public Speaker Laughs Gifts

'Hey, you there with the disgusting cold! Blow that schnoz of yours outside would ya?!'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Inclusive speech

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Dialogue

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'