Laughable Politician Moments Fan Gifts

2019 Debate: "I'd like to begin by calling my opponent a babbling idiot!"

Archival Warfare

The Berlin Peace Movement

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

The Dangers of Corporate Personhood

"Sire, they also want dental."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

Comments. Complaints. Constitutional Amendments.

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

"So we have met before..."

Of Course, we can't expect things to be as good as they have been up to now

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

Day 1: The Launch. . . Starting Day 2: Another Government Bailout.

'I believe in you, Jeffrey, and I believe in Al Gore.'

'Ask NOT what your country can do you...but what gender neutral policy initiatives can be put up for discussion and negotiation within a framework of ZERO fiscal resource allocation...'

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

Just Figureheads.

Trump Tells Greta to "Chill" Even Though The Earth Isn't

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!