Public Reader Pillows

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'No ice.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"To be or not to be."

'I know it's gassy...'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

'It's baseball season!'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

Loch Ness Beer Monster

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Barman In Love.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"What'll ya have?"

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

JOE'S 'COME ON - YOU KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT' BAR.

'What happened to your hand.'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

'Please stop crying into your beer - It's watered down enough!'

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."