Public Projects Gifts

'Madam Miggins is the best we can do for working out the full costs of HS2.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'No ice.'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

'I know it's gassy...'

Why Cows Leave Home

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"It's a mobile."

D.I.Y

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Barman In Love.

"He's my school project for science class."

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

Loch Ness Beer Monster

D.I.Y with dad.

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

Will eat your homework for $.

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'