Pub Crawler Gifts

"Please, John, not the cheap Scotch. My body is a temple."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"Here's to missing the big picture."

"I'm sorry, but shouldn't there be an apostrophe in that?"

'They've set the bar too high!'

'Congratulations on surviving another hunting season.'

"He never got over being rejected by John West'

'When's happy hour?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"France has devalued the cat."

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

'Look, I don't want any funny business.'

Cow drink 'Cud' next to Cow drinking 'Cud Light'

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

'So Victoria, what's your secret?'

'I can handle the green beer, but this...'

Ceilidh Minogue.

Guest Beers / Guest Beer Belly

"You're cut out for this job."

"Bottoms up."

"Why so downward facing, dog?"

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

'Apparently it has anti-cheating software installed.'

'It's not what you know, it's WHO you know.'

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

'I got hired by the Department of Unemployment after being fired by the Department of Labor.'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

Man Using Bagpipes as a Straw.

"I think Ted's keel's snapped off"

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

'Something to quash the indignity of financial regulatory reform.'

'I dunno what 'er misshus 'll shay--but any'ow 'm nor goin to preten I'm shober'--(hic).