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"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger...."

"Why bother?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"You're solemates!"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

"It will be all your fault."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Gangs of New York

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"I'll have dessert first."

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Big Medium

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

'I see you meeting a man who can borrow at well below prime.'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"My psychic tells me I was a glass of water in a previous life."

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

Chances of the weather.

"And that wraps it up for today's headlines. For a preview of what's happening tomorrow, here's Cassandra..."

"I see a vague figure of someone groping...groping...groping..Yes, yes, it's coming in more clearly now! It seems to be—yes, it is a man! The man has a briefcase! And some papers! The man is an economist!"