Psychic Believer T-Shirts

'It's the Psychic Network - they say they KNOW you've been meaning to call!'

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

"You're solemates!"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

The Environmentalist

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Channelling on the Cheap

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

Pie Filling Reader

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."