Psychic Arts Gifts

'Someone must have stolen your identity. Your fingerprints are missing.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

The Environmentalist

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Asking out a palm reader.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"You're solemates!"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Channelling on the Cheap

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

Pie Filling Reader

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Did you have a cat?"