Psychiatric Evaluation Pillows

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Caption Contest TK

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

"You've screwed up, messed up and played up. I didn't realise you were so multi-skilled."

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'

'My therapist cured me of using humour as a defence, these days I pack a .45.'

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Treat me easy this morning.'

"Yes, you've mentioned this 'Facebook' in the past—tell me, is 'Facebook' saying anything right now?"

"This sense of remorse... should I be concerned?"

"One coping mechanism I suggest to deal with uncertain times is to eat as much as you can, gain a lot of weight, and then go have a nap for six months or so."

'I'm a billionaire, but I think like a millionaire.'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

So, when did I realize I was a control freak, doc?…

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"Richard, Mr. Chenolock, the insurance man, is here to determine your life expectancy."

'The first step was admitting I didn't really have a problem.'