Evaluation Pillows

"Done with the evaluations? Great! Now let's evaluate the evaluations!"

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

"You've screwed up, messed up and played up. I didn't realise you were so multi-skilled."

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Treat me easy this morning.'

'This is the time when the University started to rank our research by the number of publications, not the quality of the publications...'

"Richard, Mr. Chenolock, the insurance man, is here to determine your life expectancy."

Sex Score

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

Grading Guidelines.

"Has it been in your family long?"

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

'Your performance review is in...and it's not good.'

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

'I had my accounting department run a cost-benefit analysis on you and I have some bad news.'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Mr GRUMPY thinks that you haven't been working at 100%"

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

At a guess I'd say that the feedback was probably pretty good!

'Your new boyfriend has potential, needs some omprovement. Overlooks a few things.' 'My husband is an estate agent.'