Performance Evaluation Pillows

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

"Mr GRUMPY thinks that you haven't been working at 100%"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Just be yourself."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Snowprov

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Primitive magician

'He's maturing early.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

Orchestra conductor

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

Targets.

Business Target

'It appears you've done a wonderful job...of not getting fired.'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."