Pseudo Scholar Gifts

The Artificial Intelligentsia

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"Trepanning for gold"

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

" - Well. . . at least we found the bigfoot. . ."

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

Seven Deadly Sins. Anger. Envy. Covetousness. Gluttony. Lust. Sloth. Pride. After you've successfully resisted the other six deadly sins, it's really hard not to be proud.

'What the...?!' 404 ERROR!

"You will never get your math homework done that way mister!"

Giorgio Tsoukalos

"Why do I have to go to school? Why can't I just log onto their website when I get up?"

"Unfortunately this lab is funded only by as much gold as we can make from lead."

Phrenology Patch

Disney's trying to buy Fox. If they did that, then all of Marvel's best heroes would be in the MCU. It would be horrible! The whole Marvel cinematic universe is one big story told by dozens of movies. This would, like, triple the amount of movies I'd have to watch! I'd have to watch every X-Men spinoff to make sure I got every reference made in any Thor or Avengers movie, for instance. HOJ. Your definition of "have to" and my definition of "have to" are very different. I'd have to see them all i

Alternative illnesses for alternative medicine.

"Hey - no hexes on my experiment."

'All of my degrees are from on-line universities. I guess that makes me a man of e-mails rather than of letters.'

The SAT test can wear you down.

"Is it gold yet?"

Pay more attention to your mail. All those pre-approved credit cards should raise your self-esteem.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 19

"I don't see the Whitney, but Mary Boone will send you a Christmas card."

State University Research Lab into the Jitters and HebbieJeebies.

Magazine: Pseudo-Scientific American.

"I'm attempting to transmute calcium oxide, copper gluconate, manganese sulfate, tyrosine and benzaldehyde into condensed soup."