Provocation Ponderer Gifts

"See? If my web cartoon insults people, the audience will respond! And an angry response is better than no response!"

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

'I say we try it.'

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

Three Wise Monkeys with MP3 players: Hear no evil, hear no evil, hear no evil

BNP legality response to court ruling.

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

Bumper Limos

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

The End is Near.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

Goalkeeping Dog

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

A self-filling prophecy.