Provider Enthusiast Gifts

'Armed robbers are sexy and exciting, but kleptomaniacs make the best providers.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Packaging Russian Dolls

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Claus 2.0

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"I'm bored."

Crap from the future.

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'