Proud Veteran Gifts

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Butterfly Woman

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

"The president is awarding the Medal of Honor to 24 Army veterans...whose heroism and gallantry were overlooked because of their race or ethnicity."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"By George, that should do it - as long as we don[t bomb our own men again "

Monument To The General/Soldier Monument

Clown baby.

'I could have sworn I put the Waterloo battle plan in here.'

Right Here

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

"We will remember them."

"... And he's got his father's face!"

Pet Dog.

"Let me guess... Military, right?"

US soldiers deaths in Iraq.

Veteran using medals for an eye test.

"Your Stroganoff reminds me of my army days...spent in the Biological Weapons Corps."

"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"

22 vets a day commit suicide.

Officer with many medals.

"How ostentatious - and not even this year's poppy!"

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'

When Mr Cool also turns out to be Mr Right.

The Boche Catcher

Gay and lesbian support group.

EGGS laid in America

Say it loud! We suck and we're proud!

"That one's my kidney stone."

'Son, it's very important to keep our American traditions!'