Protective Dad Pillows

'Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Daddy's Hook

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

New dad.

Clown baby.

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"... And he's got his father's face!"

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

The four sides of W Amherst Faunton: Boss/husband/father/friend.

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

Safety is about FAMILY!...

"So long, Ma, I'm riding off into the sunset."

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'