Protective Dad Pillows

'Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

Infantry.

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Daddy's Hook

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

New dad.

Clown baby.

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

The four sides of W Amherst Faunton: Boss/husband/father/friend.

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"... And he's got his father's face!"

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

"So long, Ma, I'm riding off into the sunset."

Safety is about FAMILY!...

They moved the bus stop further away. Ok. Where is it? "OK"?! They expect me to let my little babies walk 3 whole blocks! Umm