Protection Pro Gifts

'It's nice to have a job with a bit of security.'

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

Propping up a profits chart.

The stock market sky is falling.

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

Bolsonaro's Management of Covid and Climate Change

Polio - The Comeback Kid

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'Sorry, but I won't discuss my financial portfolio on a first date.'

"We have had some bumps and bruises on the stock market."

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

Protection for the world

Your angel is always with you

Beware of dog's owner....

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

Deadly sales figures...

"I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

'Ed, writing 'Show me a case where it 'aint so' is not only improper grammar, it's also an improper geometric proof.'

"There is an easier way to ensure that our pet doesn't get fleas or ticks."

'We've got to take care, sir! Last month, this thing went down and hit a guy at the floor below us!'

Business Cards.

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

AIDS prevention