Prosecution Lawyer Gifts

"You have to admit, that guy has to be the best prosecution lawyer ever!"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."